Ok so my no swearing on my blog decided to go completely out the window… shit. I tried for a little bit.
Anyways here’s some interview questions that make me want to rip the interviewers hair out….
Why do you want to work here?
Because I’m fucking jobless, and I need a job…bloody stupid question!
Why did you leave your last job?
Well, it made me want to put peoples heads in a fryer. I don’t see how they can get a positive response from this question without people lying out their ass!
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
How the fuck am I supposed to know.. do you know? It should be phrased differently, something like, Where would you like to be in 5 years professionally? Much better. We’re not psychic so stop asking it, what do they expect. Oh I’ll be a manager within your company sitting on my soon to be fat arse sacking people to save money and increase my salary!
What’s your best achievement?..(applies to school leavers)
Hmmmm….. 5 minutes later…… Finishing school? Going through puberty and not turning into a gorilla? What type of achievement will impress an employer at 16 years old. If it’s academic they can be seen as unsociable, if it’s extracurricular it can be seen as them not focusing on their studies. Stop being bloody stupid and save that one for the 40 year olds
Again for school leavers. What’s your strengths and weaknesses in terms of work?
Well if you’d read my fucking CV I’ve just finished school how the fuck am I supposed to know. I’ve never had a job… Again another one for the “more experienced” applicants.
Why are you right for this job?
Because I turned up to the interview that you gave me! There’s probably someone better than me but they’re currently sitting at a desk miserable thinking of the missed opportunity!
They are all I could think of for the time being, Have you had any interview questions that you’ve just thought we’re plain shit! Let me know in the comments!
Till next time