What makes us successful?

Hello you, 

I’ve been thinking lately, what makes us successful? Is it how much money we earn? The size of our house? Having the highest position in employment? Or somthing else?

I don’t think I have reached what I would call success yet. That doesn’t mean I’m not successful in the definition sense, but my life isn’t at the point I want it to be just yet!

I don’t want to earn loads of money, have a flash car or a mansion, or even loads of expensive things. I want to be able to look back on my life and say, I tried my best, I have no regrets, and that I did everything I could to be the best person I could be!

So here’s my “success” bucket list

  1. To find a job I am happy in
  2. To finally move out of my mothers house
  3. To be in a relationship with someone I love and who loves me back just as much
  4. To have a family of my own, adopting or fostering children
  5. To experience what the world has to offer and not just see it
  6. To grow and mature as a person
  7. To look back on my life and know I did everything I could to be the better person

What’s on your bucket list? Leave a comment and let me know. It’s be interesting to see what everyone else wants from their lives!! Plus I’m a little bit nosey too 😛 

I hope you are all well, happy and healthy

Till next time

Jamie-Leigh x x x 

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Well, Well, Well,

I’ve been neglecting this blog for a while…ooops :S

I made a small return to blogger a few months back but I’ve decided to start using this again along with my other blog!!

So excuse me for being so bloody ignorant to this for a while, and lets hope I can keep this up!

See you soon x x x

Jamie-Leigh x x

P.S I have to learn how to use this again :S

Dreams

tomer_dancer_07

We all have or had dreams growing up. Mine was to be a dancer, I used to imagine myself making my body into different positions on a big stage. I still love dance, and I mean dance in general, I have no particular type, it’s all the same to me. You move your body to convey something to show an audience, whether that audience be 1 person of 1000 people, that aim is the same. To make your audience feel what your feeling and be entertained by what your doing!

What I call general dance, is what they used to do in music videos back in the 90’s, Spice girls, Sclub7, All Saints e.t.c I used to learn and copy all the moves. It wasn’t until I was a little older I realized that wasn’t really what you could call dance. I discovered yet never pursued ballet, tap and street. Ballet conveys emotion like no other, tap shows determination whilst street shows the desire to break through the mold and be different from everyone else.

I am a fan of all types of dance and I admire anyone that has the true determination to make it! It makes me wish I had tried harder and took the steps to become the dream dancer I wanted to be. However my self esteem and confidence wasn’t great in school and the one thing you need to be a great dancer is confidence. To be able to stand in front of a crowd and perform your little ass off to the best of your ability!

girl-hip-hop-dancer-model

So there was my dream as a kid. I still dance but only for my own entertainment and exercise. So let me know in the comments. What was your dream. Did you achieve it. If your making your way to your dreams then I wish you the best of luck!

Till next time

Stay safe

Jamie-Leigh x x x

And it’s alright

Well today I’ve been having a clear out and it made me realize how emotionally attached I get to the mass of stuff that invades my room! There always seems to be an excuse to why I can’t throw things away but over the last few days I’ve actually managed to get rid of a lot of stuff and even create a little “office” to “work” from. I say work but I’m jobless, so this is my alternative (a better alternative if you ask me). 

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Just so we’re clear this is NOT my house! I may let my room get in a state every now and then, but the above is simply ridiculous :S

Anyway, 4 bin bags later, my rooms still a bit of a mess, and I’m still finding things I don’t want or need yet still want to keep. I’m biting the bullet on these occasions and just putting it in a bag before I change my mind, then swiftly moving onto the next thing before I procrastinate over the object. Doing things like this always makes me feel quite positive afterwards. Do you get that? As the saying goes “Tidy house, Tidy mind” my problem is keeping it tidy….Any tips?

I think I needed to get that short post out of my system. It’s nowhere near my best but, when you feel the need to write you need to write 😀

Anyways

Till next time

Jamie-Leigh x x x

A Swirling Black Pool

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You can’t cure depression, you can only put it back in it’s cage with a very big padlock!

So it was a comment on my “Friends on Benefits” post that made me even think of writing this post, and since moving on to WordPress I haven’t actually discussed this particular topic. So Why not ey? The topic I’m talking about is Depression!

It wasn’t that long ago that I thought life just wasn’t worth it, I’d fill my days with horrible thoughts about myself and wish for the “at the time” shit life to end. Depression is confusing, there is no real start and no real end to it, it can come and appear to vanish like a ghost, but when you’re least expecting it, on a lovely day, you’ll be swallowed up in a swirling black pool of depression ready to start the cycle again. 

Who knows why we become depressed? Why only certain people suffer with it? Yet my comfort is knowing I’m not alone, and others should know that too. Millions maybe even billions of people suffer with depression at one point in their lives or another. Some people are so bad they don’t recover from it, they take their lives or end up in a psych ward for the remainder of their years. Some people are lucky and only have it last for a few weeks. To someone that’s never had depression, those few weeks could be the worst in your life. Or at least they’ll seem it!

My depression “started for lack of a better term” somewhere around the age of 18. At 18 I should have been going out with friends, enjoying my life, but instead I was struggling to come to terms with who I was, had lost all but one of my friends, and lacked a social support from my family because I refused to tell them what was going on in my head for fear I’d be sectioned! I immersed myself in work, working as much as I could only for the depression to get worse and realizing I had to change something in my life, to make it better, I enrolled in college for Health and Social care. I made “friends” more like classmates that I’d spend more time with and actually enjoy spending time with, unfortunately I’m crap at keeping in contact with people and they all headed of to Uni to fulfill they’re desires and I dropped out a year early (college, I never made it to uni). My depression seemed to subside during college, and I think, think I was happy, I mean I wouldn’t change anything about the experience so that’s saying something.

Unemployment struck when I left college, it seemed no one wanted me to work for them, and if I’m being honest, I didn’t try, I was young and naive and thought a job would pluck itself out of thin air especially for me! Obviously it didn’t and 9 months later I was back at the old place.

Depression: Round Two

I was back at the old place when it struck again, and I honestly think it was to blame (As if depression needs an excuse to rouse it bastard head) I was promoted, but didn’t feel like I fit the shoes, I wasn’t made to feel like part of the management team, and I didn’t fit the staff team so I was alone, in limbo.I wasn’t being paid for the position I was in, and generally felt used (like one of those dirty girls who thinks sex at a frat boys party will lead to Romeo and Juliet love! Sorry girl it leads to you being called a large variety of words! Not the nice ones either).  It was horrible, to think I had worked so hard to get where I was for the realization that they didn’t care in the first place, then I began to think other people didn’t care, Mr. Paranoia and Mrs. Anxiety popped up too! I was gone. I felt like shit all the time, I felt alone in a world full of people. I was signed off sick for 3 weeks with depression and anxiety and after much deliberation these were the three weeks I decided I would eventually leave my job in search of something else. It took me six months to hand my notice in, the confidence was knocked out of me that much, that it took me 6 long treacherous months to write a letter to say, goodbye, fuck off, don’t speak to me again professionally. 

I have made myself a vow not to return to that place, I hold too many bad feelings there and for now they can stay there, maybe in the future I will return as a paying customer, but these days it’s a get in, get out situation. Longer than 5 minutes and my skin begins to crawl. 

Today, as of this moment at 04:03 11/11/13 I’m doing OK, I have my moments and Mrs Anxiety pops up like a nasty infection from time to time but I haven’t felt suicidal again since before I left in September so things are looking up, and I did it all on my own! All I have to do now is find a job but that’s an every man problem not a depressed problem! 

So there is my, not as short as I thought it would be, depression story! I want you all to know that if you have depression, had it, or any form of it then I’m here for you. And if someone ever tells you you’ve go no reason to be depressed, give em a quick jab to the face. No I’m joking, they’re obviously looking at the outer parts of your life and not the inner! 

Till next time

Stay safe

Jamie-Leigh x x  x

 

Online Fish Pond

Hey so, if you remember my blog What’s Love Got To Do With It, I mentioned about how we all crave the love of a partner at one point in our lives or another. But with today’s “online society” a lot of us are looking for love online as well! But what are the consequences of trying to find love with new age technology?

 

The amount of online dating websites popping up all over the internet, such as Match.com, Pof.com, Zoosk.com and increasing their variety and availability, sexuality specific sites such as the famous Grindr and Brenda. I have no problem with dating sites, I’ve tried/trying them, currently using Pof.com with mild success. But what are you really getting when you sign up to these sites.

Well documented in the film documentary CatFish, things may not always be what they seem  about the people you talk to on these sites. Now whilst not everyone is lying about their personalities, looks or pictures, you have to have an air of caution when you’re using these sites! So far I haven’t had any bad experiences on any of these sites although I haven’t had any face to face dates yet either, mainly because I’m extremely cautious about meeting people online. My mum wrapped me up in bubble wrap as a child… very nearly literally if she could have. It’s a blessing and a curse as it restricted my social activity as a child so it made me slightly unsociable as a teenager.

I think it’s worth a try if you struggle with social situations and meeting people, it can get the awkward icebreakers out of the way before you meet the person face to face and make that first meet a little less awkward for both of you.

What do you do though if the person is nothing like their profile? (in terms of looks)

My personal advice would be to leave. Immediately. There’s a reason they lied to you and probably won’t stop them from lying to you multiple times in the future. You need to find the person who is at least honest with you about the important things. Name, age, looks, family e.t.c

People who say looks don’t matter

Whilst in real life situations looks may not matter so much, but with online dating there is an air of attraction needed, especially if people don’t fill in their profiles! So for someone who hasn’t bothered to fill in their profile needs to be put back in the pile and you need to go back in with your online fishing rod! and look for a better “fish”.

 

 

 

 

 

Do you Remember

Do you Remember

With Remembrance Sunday approaching I decided to write a post based on the particular day. Recognizing the men and women who have given their lives for our countries to “protect and serve”

Being in the United Kingdom “RS” is well documented every year, spread across the media  to show the admiration for the special people that never made it back from a war. Starting after the first world war, a treaty was passed on the 11th hour of the 11th day on the 11th month. Remembered forever. The day is remembered with a poppy, that grew in the fields of war surrounding the injured and the brave. Made famous by the Poem “In Flanders Field“.

I wanted to take the time to thank all military personnel past, present and future for their dedication and sacrifice, who knows where we’d be if they didn’t dedicate themselves to the cause.

Here is a poem I decided to write in honor of this day and those special people.

Do you remember

The wars of the past

A history, built to last

The men and women who gave their lives

Not knowing if they’d survive

Remembered with a blood red poppy

That grew in fields whilst they fought.

A family pain and children’s loss

Of parents, brothers, sisters, aunts

Remembered forever for brave advance

This Blood red poppy symbolizes their fight

For honour, their country, for us, their sacrifice.

I hope you Remember with me on Sunday 10/11/2013 for the Sunday memorial services up and down the country, and hold your silence at 11am 11/11/2013.

Stay Safe

Jamie-Leigh x x x

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Shit Interview Questions

Blame the equipment not the person using it!

Blame the equipment not the person using it!

Ok so my no swearing on my blog decided to go completely out the window… shit. I tried for a little bit.

Anyways here’s some interview questions that make me want to rip the interviewers hair out….

Why do you want to work here?

Because I’m fucking jobless, and I need a job…bloody stupid question!

Why did you leave your last job?

Well, it made me want to put peoples heads in a fryer. I don’t see how they can get a positive response from this question without people lying out their ass!

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

How the fuck am I supposed to know.. do you know? It should be phrased differently, something like, Where would you like to be in 5 years professionally? Much better. We’re not psychic so stop asking it, what do they expect. Oh I’ll be a manager within your company sitting on my soon to be fat arse sacking people to save money and increase my salary!

What’s your best achievement?..(applies to school leavers)

Hmmmm….. 5 minutes later…… Finishing school? Going through puberty and not turning into a gorilla? What type of achievement will impress an employer at 16 years old. If it’s academic they can be seen as unsociable, if it’s extracurricular it can be seen as them not focusing on their studies. Stop being bloody stupid and save that one for the 40 year olds

Again for school leavers. What’s your strengths and weaknesses in terms of work?

Well if you’d read my fucking CV I’ve just finished school how the fuck am I supposed to know. I’ve never had a job… Again another one for the “more experienced” applicants.

Why are you right for this job?

Because I turned up to the interview that you gave me! There’s probably someone better than me but they’re currently sitting at a desk miserable thinking of the missed opportunity!

They are all I could think of for the time being, Have you had any interview questions that you’ve just thought we’re plain shit! Let me know in the comments!

Till next time

Stay Safe

Jamie-Leigh

Toilet Training

I have been told numerous times that I have a bit of a potty mouth, and whilst i do try and keep it away from my “writing” in person, twitter or other online social networks I don’t hold back. It’s part of my weird, quirky, sarcastic personality and if people don’t like it they can,,, well,, you know

I blame my mum, she can be a bit potty mouthed, I personally don’t see a problem with it unless it’s used in the wrong place or context. Like a job interview, swearing’s a big no no in those things isn’t it :S Could bit a bit awkward.

Why did you leave your last job?

Because it was a S**t hole…

See my point.

Anyway that was my short post of the day. Follow for my next one. Stupid Interview Questions….. Some of them really are stupid.

And to see more of my potty mouth, come and see me on twitter @heelsandsteal

Till next time

Stay safe

Jamie-Leigh